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Sober for Good. A New Look at How
People Solve Drinking Problems
If you did a nationwide search for people who have resolved drinking
problems using different methods, what would you find as the common
threads that led to a successful recover? Whether people gained sobriety
through 12-step programs, nontraditional recovery groups, spontaneous
remission, religion, individual counseling, moderate drinking or a
combination of approaches, what similarities and differences would you
find?
As an author and medical writer, that's what I set out to do four years
ago. I began recruiting self-described 'former serious problem drinkers'
form all walks of life who, for five or more years, had been sober. The
hundreds of respondents contacted me through postage-paid flyers
distributed in public places across the country, advertisements and
listings in newspapers and special-interest magazines, different
recovery groups and postings on the Internet.
In addition to examining similarities and differences among various
recovery routes, I also wanted to heighten awareness about the wide
range of drinking problems and of the many different ways in which these
problems can be resolved. I heard from hundreds of people whose drinking
ranged from what some might define as a 'social drinker's' quota to, at
its worst, people who consumed over a fifth of hard liquor a day. My
stance throughout the process was, "We've all heard so many things about
recover. But are they really true when you go out and ask a large group
of resolved problem drinkers?"
The research for Sober for Good was predicated on a model I used to
write Thin for Life: 10 Keys to Success From People Who Have Lost Weight
& Kept it Off for which I recruited, interviewed, and surveyed more than
200 long-term weight maintainers, intertwining their "keys to success"
with research findings, as well as with my own clinical experience in
obesity management (I refer to the success stories in my books as
"masters" of their problems.) Change is what interests me--not only how
people change in the first place, but how they maintain change over the
long-term.
In the case of Sober for Good, I included 222 resolved problem drinkers
- 125 of whom resolved their drinking problems in nontraditional ways.
The other 97 individuals attribute their sobriety to Alcoholics
Anonymous (the 'traditional' group). The average length of sobriety for
the entire group is just over 13 years. They include people whose ages
range from their 20's to their 80's who got sober while in their teens
and up to their 50's and 60's. Gender-wise, there is a close to even
split: 54% of the group are men and 46% are women.
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In the writing process, I poured through literature on treatment
outcome, harm reduction approaches, natural recovery, stepped
approaches, moderate drinking, cognitive-behavioral approaches,
Alcoholics Anonymous, and motivational enhancement in order to use
research-based, rational information as the foundation for the book.
Although my work is not a formal research study, much of what these
masters of alcohol problems have to say is consistent with the
literature on successful resolution of drinking problems.
The Many Routes to Sobriety
Not only is there a split between people who achieved sobriety by going
the traditional A.A. route and those who did not, but there are big
differences in how the nontraditional master overcame their drinking
problems. (The rest of the paragraph is fine.)
Twenty-five individuals quit completely on their own. Five went to an
alcohol treatment center, then decided they could maintain sobriety
without a recovery group.
Another 46 of the nontraditional masters achieved sobriety with
non-twelve-step recovery groups including Secular Organizations for
Sobriety (SOS), SMART Recovery®, mu Women for Sobriety, Inc. (WFS.)
Others counted as nontraditional include those who were initially helped
by A.A. but who left the program because of something they didn't like
or because they didn't use A.A.'s tenets; they now maintain sobriety on
their own.
A handful of nontraditional masters resolved their alcohol problems
through psychological counseling, through religion (not AA-related), or
with the help of Moderation Management. Strategies taught by Rational
Recovery® were used by another four masters as their major recovery
tools.
Last among the nontraditional masters are 25 people who followed
"multiple paths" - that is, they employed a variety of strategies to
overcome their drinking problems. Jessica C., for instance, used a
combination of residential alcohol treatment, A.A., WFS, psychological
counseling, and reading on her own about alcohol recovery. She
maintains, "By being willing to try everything that might help, I found
the approach that was right for me. I got something out of everything I
did. I was able to develop a personalized recovery program over time."
Summary of Recover Methods of Participants in Sober for Good
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Traditional Recoveries (12-step) |
18 |
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Nontraditional Recoveries |
13 |
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Sober on their own |
15 |
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Nontraditional recovery groups |
97 |
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Secular Organization for Sobriety (SOS) |
125 |
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SMART Recovery |
25 |
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Women for Sobriety (WFS) |
46 |
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Went to A.A. but dropped out |
12 |
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Multiple paths |
25 |
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Treatment center, then on their own |
5 |
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Psychological counseling |
3 |
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Religion |
4 |
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Moderation Management |
1 |
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Rational Recovery techniques |
4 |
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TOTAL Number of Masters |
222 |
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Not only do the masters' stories of their recovery methods illustrate
diversity and creativity, but they also show that sobriety is not
static. In other words, many of them are doing different things now to
stay sober from what they did in the beginning to get sober. For
instance, four of the Sober for Good masters who quit drinking on their
own have now decide to go to A.A. One of them, Rebecca M., says, "I may
go to A.A. once or twice a week if life is overwhelming. But if all is
calm, it may be once a year." On the other hand, Vincent A., who
initially benefited from A.A. because it offered supportive friendships
when he stopped drinking 24 years ago, stopped going because he felt
like a hypocrite attending A.A. meetings and saying that the twelve
steps changed his life. Now, he attends SMART Recovery® meetings about
two times a month.
(Most of those who switched approaches were classified according to what
they are doing now.)
With the help of Alan Marlatt from the University of Washington and
NLAAA's John Allen I designed a seven-page questionnaire that asked
participants about their drinking history, turning point, resolution of
their problem, motivational strategies, and views on recovery. (I also
interviewed many of them.) In order to determine frequency of responses
for items on the questionnaire, a public health researcher helped enter
answers into a database.
We looked for common themes as well as differences among people who had
used varying recovery methods in their responses to such questions as:
· Do you consider yourself to be an alcoholic?
· What was the turning point?
· Did you feel you had to hit bottom?
· When you were finally successful, what approaches did you use?
· How did you find the approach that was right for you?
· If you went to a recovery group, do you still go?
· How do you stay motivated?
· How do you seek pleasure in your life not that your alcohol problem is
resolved?
· Do you ever consume alcohol?
Before discussing common themes, I'll share some intriguing differences
- exceptions to 'the rules' popularly believed about recovery - shared
by some members in my book:
· "You'll never get sober until you admit that you are an alcoholic."
While most people answered yes to the question, "Do or did you consider
yourself to be an alcoholic?", 26 answered no and another three
indicated they were alcoholics - in the past tense. All 29 of these
people had resolved their drinking problems in nontraditional ways.
· "You have to hit bottom to do something about a drinking problem."
Three of the ten people clearly indicated that they did not feel that
'hitting bottom' was necessary. Those who recovered with 12-step
approaches were much more likely than others to feel they had to 'hit
bottom' before getting sober.
· "If you stop going to support meetings, you'll no longer be sober."
Actually, only about half of the masters told me they were attending
meetings at the time of completing the questionnaire. Forty-six people
who once had formal support indicated that they no longer go to
meetings. While this was more common among nontraditional masters, 14
A.A. devotees no longer feel a need to attend meetings.
· "An alcoholic is never cured." While a few participants in the book
chided me for looking for people who had resolved drinking problems,
other indicated that they felt recovered or overcame their alcohol
problems. Cheryl T. said, "I view my alcohol and drug abuse as a bad
habit that I have to overcome."
· "If you drink a drop of alcohol you'll go back to the bottle." While
about nine out of ten people are totally abstinent, another twenty
indicated that they have at least a small amount of alcohol upon
occasion. Six of the twenty said they drink regularly in moderation
(more than once a week). Ten are near-abstinent (occasionally having a
sip or tiny amounts on rare occasions) and four describe themselves as
occasional drinkers (consuming alcohol no more than once a week).
· "There's no such thing as recovery without a higher power." When I
asked participants if they'd experienced any spiritual growth since
resolving their drinking problems, nearly two out of three responded in
the affirmative. However, given the many A.A. recovery stories in Sober
for Good, I was surprised at how few used the words 'higher power' in
describing their spirituality. Numerous people have a kind of
spirituality that in no way fits the view that you must turn your will
and your life over to 'God as you understand Him'. For some,
spirituality has nothing to do with recovery.
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· "Family and friends of someone with a drinking problem can't do much
to help." The masters have lots of ideas about what loved-ones should
and should not do. Contrary to popular thinking, their recommendations
emphasize support more than confrontation.
Common Threads
Following are some of the common themes which emerged as responses to
the drinking questionnaires were tallied:
· The commitment to sobriety. Much to my surprise, a profound pattern -
one that is contrary to the one-day-at-a-time philosophy - became
evident from responses to my questions about how people resolved their
drinking problem and how they stay sober. Over and over again, they told
me how they had truly accepted the fact that drinking was no longer an
option; that they had made a commitment to never drink again. As Elise
C. puts it, "There's a point at which you close the door and realize you
can't reopen it." It was most interesting that I heard about this
commitment to sobriety - albeit a different kind of sobriety - from
people who are not totally abstinent.
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· Keeping the past present. When I asked participants, "How do you stay
motivated? What do you think keeps you from going back to problem
drinking?" the one response that far exceeded all others had to do with
keeping the memory fresh of what life was like when they were drinking.
They recall the pain of their drinking days, reflect on the consequences
if they should decide to go back to their old ways, and/or have a sense
that they don't want to regress or 'start over' again in recovery. This
is the most powerful, consistent theme in all the information from the
S~b~f~L~ masters - seven out of ten - and it cuts across all recovery
methods. Does this mean people are wallowing in the past? On the
contrary, many suggested they counterbalance the negative memories of
their drinking days with a new focus - one that lets them see the many
rewards of sobriety. Indeed, the second most common theme that emerged
from the masters' response to, "How do you stay motivated?" had to do
with appreciating how good non-drinking life is and focusing on how much
better life is now and not wanting to lose the benefits of sobriety.
Again, this theme cut across recovery methods, with about as many people
in traditional and nontraditional camps stressing its importance.
· Relishing sobriety. I was struck by how little these people seem to
miss alcohol and by how much fulfillment they've found in sobriety. Some
stressed "building lives that have no room for alcohol". When I asked
how they seek pleasure in their sober lives, there were few differences
among traditional and nontraditional recovery stories. The most common
responses - far more common than all others - had to do with enjoying
relationships with family and friends. The second most frequent response
about how people seek pleasure had to do with exercise and physical
activities such as running, hiking, walking, competitive sports and
golf. (My impression is that this is an area that greatly needs to be
strengthened in most recovery approaches.) Other common themes were not
surprising. People stressed enjoyment of reading, helping others with
alcohol problems, volunteer work, career, travel and hobbies, as well as
nature and good food.
· Support is important - but it doesn't have to come from people who
have 'been there'. Five of the masters' top-ten responses to the
question, "When you were finally successful at taking hold of your
drinking problem, what approaches did you use?" had to do with the
popular notion of support. But contrary to the popular notion that
support has to come from other who are 'in recovery', the masters
indicated that it can come in different ways - friends and family,
counselors or other sober people. (It will interest readers of TAN to
know that even though psychological counseling was not the primary
recovery approach for many, 28% indicated that it was of importance to
them.) Comments about the value of having a relationship with another
recovered individual were more likely to come from masters who achieved
sobriety through 12-step programs than from people who did so in
nontraditional ways. Not a surprise, given A.A.'s emphasis on
sponsorship. People who recovered on their own were more likely to
emphasize that support from family and friends was important to their
recovery than those who became sober through A.A.
The overriding message of Sober for Good is not that there are right or
wrong answers but that people can resolve serious drinking problems in
many different ways. By offering a host of options, recounting case
stories and anecdotes and sharing findings consistent with the
scientific literature, the ultimate goal is to help people struggling
with alcohol find solutions that are right for them.
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-Adapted with permission from Sober for Good: New
Solutions for Drinking Problems--Advice From Those Who
Have Succeeded by Anne M. Fletcher, M.S., R.D., foreword by
Frederick Glaser, M.D.
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